4. True Love Begins from Faith and Character
World Scripture
What is meant by saying that the regulation of the family depends on the cultivation of the personal life is this: Men are partial toward those for whom they have affection and whom they love, partial toward those whom they despise and dislike, partial toward those whom they fear and revere, partial toward those whom they pity and for whom they have compassion, and partial toward those whom they do not respect.
Therefore there are few people in the world who know what is bad in those whom they love and what is good in those whom they dislike. Hence it is said, People do not know the faults of their sons and do not know [are not satisfied with] the bigness of their seedlings. This is what is meant by saying that if the personal life is not cultivated, one cannot regulate his family.5
Great Learning 8 (Confucianism)
He who does not love does not know God; for God is love.
1 John 4.8
It is not for the sake of the husband, my beloved, that the husband is dear, but for the sake of the Self.6 It is not for the sake of the wife, my beloved, that the wife is dear, but for the sake of the Self. It is not for the sake of the children, my beloved, that the children are dear, but for the sake of the Self.
Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 2.4.4-5 (Hinduism)
The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law.
Galatians 5.23
What kind of love is this that to another can shift? Says Nanak: True lovers are those who are forever absorbed in the Beloved. Whoever discriminates between treatment held good or bad, Is not a true lover—he rather is caught in calculations.
Adi Granth, Asa-ki-Var, M.2, p. 474 (Sikhism)
Wherefore let us exhort all men to piety, that we may avoid evil, and obtain the good, of which Love is to us the lord and minister; and let no one oppose him—he is the enemy of the gods who oppose him. For if we are friends of the God and at peace with him we shall find our own true loves, which rarely happens in this world at present… My words… include men and women everywhere; and I believe that if our loves were perfectly accomplished, and each one returning to his primeval nature had his original true love, then our race would be happy.
Plato, Symposium (Hellenism)
Now tell me: can a man love anyone who hates himself? Can he be in harmony with someone else if he’s divided in himself, or bring anyone pleasure if he’s only a disagreeable nuisance to himself? How necessary it is for a man to have a good opinion of himself, give himself a bit of a boost to win his own self-esteem before he can win that of others.
Erasmus, Praise of Folly (Humanism)
Teachings of Sun Myung Moon
People seek love with each other—horizontal love, while God’s love is vertical love. If love is to be perfect, the horizontal and the vertical lines must be connected.
(238:140, November 22, 1992)
It is a teaching of the Principle that God dwells in an individual whose mind and body are in oneness. Why does God dwell there? Love most certainly dwells where a person’s mind and body are united. Love is the starting point of unity. The object partner’s love brings God near, to dwell there.
It is said that human beings are temples of God. What kind of place is a holy temple? Is it a place of work? No, a temple is a place of rest and tranquility. Where can we rest? We can rest in the midst of God’s love; that is the most ideal place. Don’t you agree? So we can be God’s temples when we can rest in God’s love.
We aspire to have such a mind, with God’s love and peace abiding within our inmost heart. Then we would dwell in what is called “the world of heart (shimjung).” That place is like an ever-flowing spring of the purest fresh water. Love and peace well up from within, never ceasing, never stagnating. It is endless because God dwells there. Become that kind of person, a temple of God, and you can comfort those who are crying out in pain.
(91:77, January 30, 1977)
True love moves at the zero point. The zero point is where the mind and body become one. There, every void is filled and every excess flattened. There the mind and body have perfect rest. At the zero point, only love has the power to move us. Nothing else works. At the zero point both the wife’s mind and the husband’s mind are at zero; therefore they can become one, they can become totally one. At the zero point, neither the wife nor the husband clings to their own concepts. Abiding there, they have no concept of “two,” only “one.” What does it mean? They are living for each other. That is the zero point. In that state they free in everything; wherever they go and whatever they do they are free.
(230:103, April 26, 1992)
A person who does not love himself cannot love God. A person who does not love himself cannot love his parents. A person who does not love his parents cannot love his country. You must first love yourself to be able to love your parents, love your country, love the world, and love God.
(22:97, January 26, 1969)
According to the ideal of love, all love relationships in the animal and plant kingdoms are for reproduction only. Human beings are the sole exception. Humankind enjoys freedom in the conjugal relationship of love. This is humanity’s special privilege as the lord of all creation. God blessed His sons and daughters with the infinite joy of love. However, the true freedom that God allowed requires human responsibility. If an individual were to insist upon and practice freedom of love without responsibility, how much confusion and destruction would take place! Achieving the highest ideal of human love is possible only when one takes responsibility for love. We can think of this responsibility in three ways. The first responsibility is to become a master of true love—truly thanking God for the freedom of love and knowing how to cultivate and control ourselves. We do not take this responsibility for a love relationship merely because of law or social convention. Instead, a person should establish this responsibility through his own self-mastery and self-determination within a committed vertical relationship with God. The second responsibility is toward our partner of love. By nature, people do not want their spouse’s love to be shared with others. Horizontal conjugal love, which differs from the vertical love between parents and children, loses its potential for perfection the moment it is divided. This is because the Principle of Creation requires husband and wife to become one in absolute love. Each spouse has the responsibility to practice absolute love, living for the sake of the other. The third responsibility of love is toward our children. The love of parents is the basis for children’s pride and happiness. They would wish to be born through the total and harmonious unity of their parents in true love, and they would wish to be raised in that kind of love. The highest responsibility of parents is not only to rear their children externally, but also to offer them life elements of true love that can perfect their spirituality. This is why the family is so valuable.
(277:201-02, April 16, 1996)