1. True Friends and False Friends
World Scripture
And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and pay the poor-due, and they obey God and His messenger.
Qur’an 9.71
Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15.13
The gentleman by his culture collects friends about him, and through these friends promotes goodness.
Analects 12.24 (Confucianism)
I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women.4
2 Samuel 1:26
The dog says, “If you fall down, and I fall down, the play will be enjoyable.”5
Nupe Proverb (African Traditional Religions)
It is because one antelope will blow the dust from the other’s eye that two antelopes walk together.6
Akan Proverb (African Traditional Religions)
Fellowship with Men: Men bound in fellowship first weep and lament,
But afterward they laugh. The Master said,
“Life leads the thoughtful man on a path of many windings.
Now the course is checked, now it runs straight again.
Here winged thoughts may pour freely forth in words,
There the heavy burden of knowledge must be shut away in silence.
But when two people are at one in their inmost hearts,
They shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze.
And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts,
Their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.”
I Ching, Great Commentary 1.8.6 (Confucianism)
There are three sorts of friend that are profitable, and three sorts that are harmful. Friendship with the upright, with the true-to-death, and with those who have heard much is profitable. Friendship with the obsequious, friendship with those who are good at accommodating their principles, friendship with those who are clever at talk is harmful.
Analects 16.4 (Confucianism)
The friend who always seeks his benefit,
The friend whose words are other than his deeds,
The friend who flatters just to make you pleased,
The friend who keeps you company in wrong,
These four the wise regard as enemies:
Shun them from afar as paths of danger.
The friend who is a helper all the time,
The friend in happiness and sorrow both,
The friend who gives advice that’s always good,
The friend who has full sympathy with you,
These four the wise see as good-hearted friends
And with devotion cherish such as these
As does a mother cherish her own child.
Digha Nikaya 3.187, Sigalovada Sutta (Buddhism)
Only few people act in our interest in our absence,
When we are not around.
But in our presence, every Dick and Harry, slaves and freeborn,
Display their love for us.
Yoruba Verse (African Traditional Religions)
Teachings of Sun Myung Moon
Do you have a best friend, someone with whom you have an unbreakable bond? Someone you treasure more than anyone else in the world, including your wife? A relationship with a best friend cannot be broken by an angry word or a day’s quarrel.
You cannot abandon him even at the risk of your life.
You do not feel this way about your friend out of sympathy, but because you are connected from the bottom of your heart, which is the source of goodness. A relationship that is connected to the goodness in your original mind can never be broken.
(42:218, March 14, 1971)
Who is a true friend? A true friend lives for her friends; she does not regard her friends as existing for her benefit. Suppose among ten friends, one of them lived his or her life for the sake of the other nine. If you ask them, “Who is your best friend?” they will all pick the friend who lived for the others.
(70:72, February 8, 1974)
As we cultivate our relationship with another person—a friend or family member, over time we connect a part of our life to that person’s life and also connect emotionally. What may have begun as a professional or formal relationship expands to fill more aspects of our life. Our friend’s presence grows ever larger in our heart, and in time he or she becomes someone whom we cannot live without.
(59:296, July 30, 1972)
Happy is the man who has friends who commiserate with his mishaps and sorrows. Happy is the man who, when he is in pain, has friends or children who are willing to take any pains and even risk their lives on his behalf.
(150:196, February 15, 1961)
When you visit an acquaintance whose face you barely know, you do not feel at ease; instead you feel awkward. But when you visit a friend to whom you have strong emotional ties, you feel at ease. You feel free to interfere in your friend’s affairs, and your friend can step into your personal life as well. A strong friendship is bound with ties of emotional affection. Friends can cope with any external difficulty on the strength of their bond of heart.
(33:133, August 11, 1970)
If you want to be someone’s best friend, you should understand his agony and suffering, and comfort him in his misfortune. If you have a relationship with him through heart and love, you will move him, and he will move you.
(7:306, October 11, 1959)